to get the things i want out of life.
certainly there are gifts i can be given…the kindness of strangers, a helping hand to push me in the right direction…but it is up to ME to utilize those gifts.
hard work is a necessity for the business i’ve chosen. so is an indomitable spirit and endless confidence in my abilities.
new york city is different from anything i imagined it could be.
no one can tell you what it’s like to leave all your family and friends behind you and strike out into the wild unknown. you have to experience it first-hand.
working your ass off and still barely making enough for bills and food is ROUGH. it is DISCOURAGING and it is FRIGHTENING.
there have been nights where i cried myself to sleep. i admit that with no shame.
but in the end, i always have enough for everything that i need (and a few things that i want). i have a few old friends up here with me, and i have made a few new ones.
how paradoxical that in such a populous city, i can feel so alone.
my family was my support system, my armor, my laughter and my joy. i miss them with a keen ache.
but i still have them! i will always have them. anytime i need my mother’s freakishly accurate advice, lani’s listening ear, mason’s humor and reality checks, or caleb’s zest for life, i can get in touch with them. when we talk, it’s as though no miles are between us at all.
growing up means you go out into the world and make your own way. you follow your dreams, your desires…and eventually it leads you somewhere you never imagined. i am not afraid of challenges, and i am not afraid to go for it all on my own.
but with my family and friends behind me, i know i won’t ever have to…not really.
so bring on the beautiful chaos of life.
i am ready.